I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
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