Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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