so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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