is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
