i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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