I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I would ride that face into the sunset
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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