make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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