God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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