i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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