i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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