Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
