so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Randomize
