Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
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