margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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