I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
