I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
