half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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