Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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