Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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