I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
