Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
