Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
