So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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