your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
