First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
