ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
