So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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