forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
