How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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