the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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