I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I have fence marks all over my body
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
