we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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