You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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