Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
