How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
