Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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