She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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