So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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