lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
