wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
