I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Just pee around me
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
