I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
