Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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