I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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