On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
