Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He better not be in your backpack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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