News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
