I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
