My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
