I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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