She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
whose parrot is this?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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