Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
