Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
