Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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