Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
one might say we're banned from that church
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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