All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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