You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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