HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
