I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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