Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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