When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize